In favor of consultants
Many business owners balk at the title “consultant” largely because, by the time they have to call one, they know they’ve already made mistakes and it’s only bad news from there on out. Forget the fact consultants make way more money for much less work. That’s because consultants don’t have to deal with the small-minded drivel of your “company politics” and they never have. Long ago, they started telling it like it is and found that people with money (business owners) want that, but for a fee, not a salary, less the talk-it-like-it-is guy wise-up to the owner some day.
Largely, consultants are the mouthpiece of the owner that needs to be the bad guy but can’t, either because the business owner is a family descendant owner and has no real business savvy (read: balls) or they’re in a highly delicate negotiation (read: answering to lawyers with balls).
The secret is this: consultants are only valuable when you hire them BEFORE you make a decision. By the time you need an expert and you’ve already begun a project, the writing is on the wall that you’re doomed to failure and you have only yourself to blame.
Put aside your pride that you think you know everything. Men with balls hire people smarter than they are because smart people often lack balls. That’s why the guy with the money – and the balls – doesn’t fear the smart guy. If you fear the smart guy, you probably lack money, balls, or both.
Here’s one example. A client of mine succumbed to letting a copier sales guy in the door. Mistake number one – get a $7 per hour secretary to turn all sales people away at the door. This will save you thousands every week.
Then, they let the sales guy go fishing because their copiers were up for renewal (for starters, they weren’t, and for seconds, never let a sales guy in your building).
So the sales guy leaves and comes back with THREE sales droids. Of course, one has the mandatory jubblies that all sleaze-houses have. You know, the girl that couldn’t hack pharmaceutical sales but had to quit stripping because her strain on the load-bearing bass pole at her last job was in danger of putting the whole building in ruin.
Yeah. I said it.
So they come back with numbers that absolutely look ridiculous. Of course, their “professional audit” of current consumption indicated they were paying several thousand dollars a month already. According to their numbers, replacing all the equipment, buying out the old lease, and throwing in that new server they always needed but could not afford would cost a few paltry hundred dollars more per month, or, in sales-droid speak, “YOUR INVESTMENT IS ONLY $5.16 PER DAY!”
Seriously. That guy works hard for that cookie.
So they called me. I was shocked. “You mean this is just a sales proposal? You didn’t already buy this and they have no idea how to integrate the fax-to-email with the new Exchange 2007 server they sold you which doesn’t work because they also sold a three-year-old 32bit box out of their back closet?”
I was almost proud of them.
So I went to work, which is what I do. I took $5.16 * 365 (to get the “cost” per year) * 5 (I ignore leap years. Bite me.) to get $9,417.00 as the additional cost. Mind you, this gives them Exchange, which they never had before, and for that cost over 5 years, I think I might have bought the deal. However, read on.
First, estimated consumption of paper and consumables on the copiers and printers in question were “professionally audited” to be in excess of $2,700 per month. There were TWO multifunction machines and four workgroup printers. Small countries operate a military on less money.
Secondly, the $9417 overage was IN ADDITION to this $2700 figure, which amounts to the sales-droids commission less the $8000 override the girl with jubblies will take.
So the total solution is roughly $171,400 over five years. In other words, a small house or a bitchin’ car in this neck of the woods.
My analysis. An Exchange server with 64bit hardware, 500GB disk (4 spindles of 15k RPM SAS disk with 4.6ms seek time, mind you) 16GB RAM and 8 cores at 2.0GHz with a 1333MHz FSB PLUS the extortion fees for the Microsoft licenses clocked in at a whopping $16,000 with tax. I did the additional research to find out what a handful of printers and two multifunction machines would cost to lease over 5 years. The WORST number I could come up with was $68,000 and that’s NOT the one I proposed.
So, worst case: $16k +$68k = $84k. PLUS my fee of $10,000.00 (yes, just to LOOK AT NUMBERS I CHARGED THEM TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS) is $94k. That’s a NET SAVINGS OF SEVENTY SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS ($77,000.00) or more than SEVEN HUNDRED PERCENT (700%) ROI on the money they spent with me.
They gave me $10k, I gave them $77k.
ALWAYS HIRE A CONSULTANT. You will regret it if you don’t.
email brandon@brandondarling.com